ego

beri kan ku kuasa

bagai seorang sultanah

akan ku mengangkat diriku gagah

oh, penunggang sang jantan hitam

perlukah laksamana membuka langkah?

jangan kau berani!

kerisku bukan penakut, tatkala bisanya lebih pedih jika ditusuk.

butakah patik, tidak berakal namun masih petah berkata?

kau alpa sekali.

terlupa akan ku, seorang sultanah

penunggang gagah sang jantan hitam.

the language of women..and they're NOT CRAPPY!

lesson 1

shoes and clothes don't mixed well with football. remember that!

minah A : did you remember that green dress i saw yesterday? it is GORGEOUS! love IT!

minah B: oh yeah. you meant the one in that shop near the parking space?

minah A: NO! i meant the one near the boutique where we bought your pink shirt.

minah B: Ohh. you meant this shirt? or the one at home? i have three.

minah A : the second one.

minah B: Oh! right. yeah, it's really CUTE. but i like the third dress from the right where it had that ribbon stuck on the back.

minah A: oh, that one. you meant 'that' or 'this'?

minah B: 'that'!

minah A: yeah! i know. that dress will look good on you if you have their black heels.

minah B: i know. it was at the end of the store near the section for pants right.

minah A: the other end. between the yellow section and blue ones. it's on the left of that white flats.

.............................and it goes on and on and on.

note that: they were no longer IN THAT SHOP and they went to THAT SHOP YESTERDAY.
what a memory.... wish you could use that to remember history lessons huh? ironically, we rarely memorised notes as good as remembering shopping now, aren't we ladies. :P teehee

p/s: if you're a guy, experiencing (or experienced) this, and never had understood us, you are PERFECTLY NORMAL! hahhaha

From Allah with Love :)

The Quran is undeniably the most precious gift

it is unable to be exchanged

unable to be challenged

unable to be modified

a gift to all

a gift for muslims

it hits me when i finally realised it. the fact that i've been holding this for so long, yet i hadn't well read its contents thoroughly. the thought of me, being the past me of full negligence towards this existing soul that has been long kept at the highest level of the cabinet slapped me right in the face, giving me this awful crappy feeling of despising myself. not that i felt pitied or pitiful but just at the stage of lost and regret of the drained days, minutes and seconds.

here i am, looking at these arabic words, knowing nothing much of the texts and just continue reading them blindly.

page by page, i flipped it through. sometimes i cried - because i've failed to understand His words. I thought i have loved Him more I have loved my mother and father. I guess i'd overestimating my devotion.

I was at the dead end once. but i wasn't dead yet to continue learning.

i am 20 and insyaAllah i'll live longer than today. this is my experience of finding the right pathway and i'll be needing much help from now and onwards.

i know i am not the only one feeling this. i am just one in the sea of other thousands. just a reminder to my sisters and brothers :

learn as much as possible from the day you've received His Love Letter. :)

in the surah 96, text 1 to 5 : God emphasis that reading(gaining knowledge) is extremely important.

surah 96: Al-'Alaq (the Clot)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

96:1

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Sahih International

Recite in the name of your Lord who created -

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Recite, bring recitation into existence, beginning with: In the Name of your Lord Who created, all creatures;

96:2

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Sahih International

Created man from a clinging substance.

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

created man (al-insān: the generic) from a blood-clot (‘alaq is the plural of ‘alaqa, which is a small quantity of congealing blood).

96:3

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Sahih International

Recite, and your Lord is the most Generous -

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Recite: (reiterating the first one) and your Lord is the Most Generous, having no counterpart in terms of His generosity (wa-rabbuka’l-akram is a circumstantial qualifier referring to the subject [of the verb] iqra’, ‘recite’),

96:4

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Sahih International

Who taught by the pen -

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Who taught, [the art of] script, by the pen — the first to write with it was [the prophet] Enoch (Idrīs), peace be upon him —

96:5

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Sahih International

Taught man that which he knew not.

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

taught man (al-insān: the generic) what he did not know, before he was taught, in the way of guidance, [the art of] writing, crafts and so on.

96:6

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Sahih International

No! [But] indeed, man transgresses

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Nay, but verily man is [wont to be] rebellious,

96:7

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Sahih International

Because he sees himself self-sufficient.

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

when he sees it, that is to say, his own soul, to be self-sufficient, in terms of wealth — this was revealed regarding Abū Jahl (ra’ā, ‘sees’, means [to see] mentally; istaghnā, ‘self-sufficient’, is the second direct object; an ra’āhu, ‘when he sees it’, is an object denoting reason).

96:8

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Sahih International

Indeed, to your Lord is the return.

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Surely to your Lord, O man, is the return — [meant as] a threat for him — and so He will requite the rebellious one with what he deserves.

96:9

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Sahih International

Have you seen the one who forbids

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Have you seen (a-ra’ayta in all three instances [here and below] is an exclamation of wonder) him, namely, Abū Jahl, who forbids

96:10

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Sahih International

A servant when he prays?

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

a servant, namely, Muhammad (s), when he prays?

96:11

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Sahih International

Have you seen if he is upon guidance

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Have you considered what if he, the one forbidden, should be upon [a path of] guidance,

96:12

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Sahih International

Or enjoins righteousness?

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

or (aw is for division) be bidding [others] to fear of God?

96:13

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Sahih International

Have you seen if he denies and turns away -

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Have you considered what if he, the one forbidding the Prophet, should be denying [God’s guidance] and turning away?, from faith.

96:14

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Sahih International

Does he not know that Allah sees?

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Is he not aware that God sees?, what has issued from him, that is to say, He does [indeed] know it and will requite him for it. In other words, ‘Marvel, O you being addressed, at the way in which he forbids prayer, and at the fact that the one being forbidden is actually the one upon guidance, bidding to fear of God, while the one forbidding is a denier, disregarding faith’.

96:15

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Sahih International

No! If he does not desist, We will surely drag him by the forelock -

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

No indeed! — a repudiation of him — Assuredly if (la-in: the lām is for oaths) he does not desist, from the disbelief that he is upon, We shall seize him by the forelock, We shall drag him to the Fire by his forelock,

96:16

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Sahih International

A lying, sinning forelock.

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

a lying, iniquitous forelock! (nāsiyatin: an indefinite noun substituting for a definite) — the description of this [forelock] in such terms is meant figuratively, and what is actually meant is that individual.

96:17

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Sahih International

Then let him call his associates;

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

Let him, then, call upon [the henchmen of] his council, the members of his council (nādin) — a place of assembly where people gather to talk. He [Abū Jahl] had said to the Prophet (s) in reproof, having forbidden him from prayer, ‘You are well aware that there is none in this [town] who has [recourse to] as large a council [of men] as I do. Verily, I shall fill this [entire] valley with mature steeds and young men [in battle] against you if you so wish!’

96:18

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Sahih International

We will call the angels of Hell.

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

We shall call the Zabāniya, the grim stern angels to destroy him, as [stated] in the hadīth, ‘Had he called his council [of henchmen] together, the Zabāniya would have seized him right before his own eyes!’.

96:19

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Sahih International

No! Do not obey him. But prostrate and draw near [to Allah ].

Tafsir al-Jalalayn

No indeed! — a repudiation of him — Do not obey him, O Muhammad (s) and abandon prayer, and prostrate yourself, perform prayer to God, and draw near, to Him through obedience to Him.

the ke-zillion Zzzz's

it's the end of the first semester. HURRAH! i'll miss damian and crocker. :(

but damn it... i'll miss my dreams with T.O.P and the others too. All for the sake of balsa and boards, thank you.

Am I complaining? Nah. hehehe...just stating the facts to remind myself to work harder. :)

ASSignments

it was a rough semester. it really was for me. a newbie in this kind of lifestyle where time was no longer have intention to be lenient to me.and the tutors. arghhhh. like, come on, give me some space to breathe. i hardly had time to take a bath.

today was soooooo SELEKEH. the plan was to wake up early, draw something on the journal, and submit it. a clean one right? WRONG! Definitely a big 'X' mark.

i slept at 3, thinking 6 will be alright to take my bath. hah! 6 is too good. i was up at 9, and my hand-ins was supposedly at 10, sharp. here are my thoughts:

1. i need at least 10 minutes in the bathroom

2. if there are no road traffics, i'll be at uni in 30 minutes

3. the tram will be late on friday morning, so, plus another 5 minutes or so

4. damn! i forgot to bind my journal. add in 5-7 minutes lining in the queue

to the one and only binding machine.

5. oh yah, i didn't buy the envelope from the post office yet. it was a requirement.

so, add in everything, i'll say i'm left with around 5 minutes to catch my breath.

i guess that is still alright after knowing 2nd semester's a hell. ahhh, no worries. at least, i've handed it out right on time. cheers. :)

p/s: oh yah. i didn't mention the most important part. i went to uni without taking a bath and was wearing my brightly-coloured pyjamas shirt tucked into my tight jeans. it was a selekeh day. but, still. i had my bath afterwards. good thing i didn't smell much.or...did i?? :D

mama you've reminded me

sometimes i feel like throw my arms up in the air

I know that I can count on you

sometimes i feel like saying

"Lord, I just don't care"

but you've got the love i need to see me through

sometimes it seems that

the going is too rough

and things go wrong no matter what i do

now and then

it seems that life is just too much

but you've got the love i need to see me through

You've got the love- Florence +the machine

Happy Mother's Day mama. You've always been the best!

katakan yang engkau pun tak kisah

the last time i was sure to be

a big ball of firing spirits

was when i had my friends back in high school.

we were a family

bonded by chains of unconditional love

affections

and understanding

though we are apart now

it felt as if we just did it yesterday

and the thought of going back to school

tomorrow

had always been in my head

not that i am denying my age

of becoming twenty *wink

i was so absorbed

during my years

as a highschooler

they were my brothers and sisters

and we treated each other well

i don't mind loving a boy

without actually falling for him

i don't mind respecting my friends

like seniors

without actually scared of them

i can't understand these people,

the ones that kept judging me

because i am a girl

a Malay girl

a traditional MALAY GIRL

today

if i am to be who i was

they will see me as a nuisance

i'm sorry

i was brought up that way

learning to love a person

sincerely

and with no contract

or favours

i know myself too well

when i love someone

as a friend

a brother

a sister

a mother

a father

or

even

a lover

...

...

...

i will love them deeply

as the way i see them

regardless of the relations

so, please

don't question my feelings

and my judgement

i don't follow the trend

i just surf my own waves

and you are most welcome

to be beside me. :)